***Check me out over at The Washington Post. I wrote an essay about a day when I was a super grown-up.***
I was once told that I was the reason that stepmothers get such a bad rap in Disney movies. My crime? I’d written an essay about my complicated relationship with a divorced father of three, and in it I’d admitted to the occasional bout of jealousy in the beginning of our relationship. I wrote that sometimes, I couldn’t help but feel a little left out of the things I wasn’t allowed to participate in yet: vacations, the kids’ sports games, birthday dinners.
In the comments section, one reader said that if jealousy was a problem for me, then I was responsible for all the bad PR stepmothers get. Then she used some very colorful language to tell me to grow up.
I was just trying to be honest: As someone in her mid-30s who never planned on having kids, being the girlfriend of an older man with three teenagers is a challenging place to be. And in the beginning, it could be a lonely place.
Then last month — three years into our relationship — my boyfriend Kevin received a text from his ex-wife: I’d like to have coffee with Dani.
Oh what I wouldn’t give for the days when I felt left out.
sum of my pieces 
I saw your story on the Post wire this week, and loved it (and started following your blog immediately afterwards haha) 🙂 I think it was uninformed and insensitive on the part of the commenter who criticized you for being honest about your feelings 😦 I’m a soon-to-be-official stepmom, too, and was terrified of the stereotype at the beginning. Thankfully things are going really well (miracles), but I understand where you’re coming from. It’s a really weird role to navigate sometimes!!!
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Someone just reminded me: if you write honestly, there will always be people who judge. It’s very true. So glad the article resonated with you!
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